Chad Benefield
October 2nd
Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (20th Century Fox)
Believe it or not, Ripley, the sequel to 2005’s Fantastic Four is
actually better than it’s predecessor. Now, do I recommend it? Hell,
no. My complaint about the Fantastic Four franchise is that it all just
seems so second rate. The set design is as generic and cheesy as the
old Batman television series. The dialogue is awful. The actors (Ioan
Gruffud, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans and Michael Chiklis) are C-list at
best. And, because Spiderman has set the special-effects bar so high
for superhero films, these don’t even manage second rate. These effects
look third rate. It’s amusing and ironic that, in this movie, the
Silver Surfer is an extra-terrestrial life- sucking force that can kill
a planet in eight days. He sucked the life out of me in an hour and a
half. GRADE: C
October 9th
Reign Over Me (Sony Pictures)
Adam Sandler takes a rare dramatic turn as Charlie Fineman, a New
Yorker whose wife and kids were killed in a 9/11 plane crash. Don
Cheadle is Charlie’s former college buddy who tries to help him work
through his grief. While this movie was right on the verge of a
recommendation, something about it gnawed at me like a chigger in the
armpit. It’s as if writer/director Mike Binder (The Upside of Anger,
The Mind Of A Married Man) tried to use the events of 9/11 as a
surprise ending to the film. Very early in the movie, Cheadle’s
character Alan says “Charlie’s family was killed in a plane crash.”
Another character later says that “Charlie’s whole life changed on
September 12th, 2001.” Binder is intentionally coy and it doesn’t seem
genuine. I visit New York frequently. I know New Yorkers. Not one of
them would say Charlie’s family was killed in a plane crash. They would
say they were killed on 9/11. None would ever say Charlie’s life
changed on September 12th, 2001. Let’s be honest here, folks. Does
anyone in the United States remember September 12th? Doubt it. GRADE:
C+
October 9th
Surf’s Up (Sony Pictures)
In case you have failed to notice, penguins are the new gay! Penguin
characters are popping up in just about every movie (the brilliant
March Of The Penguins, the epic, yet horrendous Happy Feet)! Penguins
have bombarded multi-media. I’m fully anticipating a new BRAVO series
called Penguin Eye for the Straight Guy. I have long complained that
the animated film genre has become predictable and just downright lame.
So, kudos to Surf’s Up directors Ash Brannon and Chris Buck and
screenwriters Lisa Addario and Christian Darren for bringing us
something fresh! Surf’s Up plays like a documentary about surfing
penguins. The dialogue is natural and just rolls off the tongue (I
guess penguins have tongues!). The “camera” work is a brilliant blend
of stationary and hand-helds (even though the entire movie is drawn).
My only complaint is that the subject matter is penguins. I know
they’re cute. But I’m tired of them. In fact, I’m ready for some hungry
sea lions to take a few of them out. I appreciate the new approach to
the animation. I would have appreciated, on a greater level, newer
subject matter. GRADE: B-
October 16th
The Reaping (Warner Brothers)
Hilary Swank stars as Katherine Winter, a former missionary who
specializes in debunking religious phenomena. She’s called down to
Haven, Louisiana because the rivers are bloody, it’s raining bullfrogs
and the townsfolk have boils on their faces. Yep, is appears that Haven
is suffering from the Biblical plagues! But why? Well, apparently, the
people of Haven are sacrificing children in the name of the Devil and
God is waging war against them. Look. Movies about Biblical prophecy
NEVER work. Did you see Demi Moore knocked up in The Seventh Sign? What
the hell was that? It’s my theory that the warnings of Biblical plagues
are so inherently scary that it’s hard for filmmakers to compete with
our ideas of just how frightening they’re going to be. In this movie,
the plagues befall Haven so quickly, we don’t have time to process them
or fear them. We just get the Reader’s Digest version of the ten
plagues. Ooh! I’m trembling! GRADE: C
October 16th
Transformers (Paramount)
Michael Bay has made a career out of directing loud, explosive and
over-the-top action films. I had no doubts going in that Transformers
was going to be just as obnoxious and as silly as Armageddon, Bad Boys,
and Pearl Harbor. And it was! It’s task enough that we have to buy into
these races of aliens known as the Autobots and the Decepticons. As
Nell Carter would say (may she rest in peace), “Gimme A Break!” But to
give the robots voices and make them say things like, “I can smell you,
Boy?” It’s ridiculous and, at times, so slapstick the robots don’t even
seem scary and they’re supposed to. After all, they’ve come to destroy
Earth not work for Comedy Central. The special effects are solid and
the way in which that first chopper morphs into a Decepticon is cool
and unexpected. And young Shia LaBeouf gives the movie a heart and
pulse. It’s just not enough to transform the movie from bad to good.
GRADE: C
October 23rd
Mr. Brooks (MGM)
I would try to summarize the plot of this movie but I would need this
entire issue of News 4U. There is truly not enough paper product in the
world on which to spell out the major plot points of this film then try
to make sense of them. Suffice it to say that Kevin Costner stars as
Mr. Brooks, a well-known Portland, Oregon philanthropist who moonlights
as a serial killer. Demi Moore (gag!), Dane Cook (help me, Lord Jesus)
and Danielle Panabaker (her career is over before it started) costar in
this movie that begins with this statement etched on the screen, “The
hunger has returned to Mr. Brooks’ brain. It never really left.” Well,
after watching the film I noticed a hunger in my brain. And it never
really left. I want to shoot these people. GRADE: D
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