April 1st

Sweeney Todd:  The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (DreamWorks)

I’ll admit it.  I have never been a Tim Burton fan.  For my taste, everything he does is just too darn dark, thematically and aesthetically.  That said, I couldn’t wait to see his take on the classic Stephen Sondheim musical because Sweeney Todd demands a morbid vision.  Unfortunately for Burton, it also demands highly-skilled vocalists and no one in his cast can sing.  It is beyond my comprehension why any director would cast a musical with actors and actresses who aren’t musical.  Johnny Depp, as Benjamin Barker/Sweeney Todd, gets away with a modest voice because he makes up for it with ferocious psychosis.  Helena Bonham Carter gives Mrs. Lovett an ample speaking voice, but doesn’t have the training to supply the character’s delicious singing voice.  And Alan Rickman, as the evil Judge Turpin, musters his trademark growl, but ends up sounding, in song, like a Barry White-wannabe.   GRADE:  C

April 8th

Lions For Lambs (MGM)

Selling movies about the war in the Middle East is about as difficult as selling used underwear.  No one’s buying.  I actually appreciate the fact that folks in Hollywood have something to say about the current state of affairs and I’ll grab my notebook and go listen.  And that’s precisely what you have to do in director Robert Redford’s esoteric Lions For Lambs.  You have to listen.  In his screenplay for the offensively one-sided The Kingdom, writer Matthew Michael Carnahan was content to just blow things up!  Here, he trades explosions for rhetoric and Tom Cruise, Meryl Streep and Redford are on hand to spew it and argue sides.  My only problem with this film is that it’s just to clinical, textbook and scholastic.  Whether you agree or disagree with its message, Lions For Lambs has a lot to say.  Unfortunately, there’s just not a lot to feel. 
GRADE:  B-  

 
April 15th

There Will Be Blood (Paramount Vantage)

Go to Dairy Queen.  Buy a milkshake.  Stick a straw in it.  Then, with all the strength in your jaws, suck it dry.  If you perform this simple task, you will achieve two things.  Number one, you will understand the film’s underlying metaphor about drilling for oil and pipelining the crude out of the communities that supply it, thereby leaving them bankrupt morally and financially.  Number two, you’ll have brain freeze and you’ll be exhausted.  The kudos for this project have left me nonplussed.  Every single thing about Paul Thomas Anderson’s update of Upton Sinclair’s Oil! is over-the-top.  The biggest culprit is the Oscar winner.  Daniel Day-Lewis chews the scenery like a hyena gutting a gazelle carcass.  I will never understand how that man walked away with an Academy Award for this movie!  Oh, wait.  The Academy gave one to Halle Berry for Monster’s Ball, didn’t it?  Nevermind!  
GRADE:  C     

April 15^th

Juno (Fox Searchlight)

Simply put!  The best comedy of 2007 and, for me, the 6^th best movie of last year.  Ellen Page shines as Juno, a derisively witty 16-year-old who accidentally gets pregnant by her geeky best friend, Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera).  Sure, Juno did something stupid and careless, but she handles the crisis with all the aplomb of a practical, rational adult woman.  Stripper-turned-screenwriter Diablo Cody snagged an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay for Juno and deserved every ounce of Oscar gold.  Juno is insanely clever, laugh-out-loud funny and, ultimately, touching.  Let’s hear it for unplanned parenthood!
GRADE:  A-

 
April 15th

In The Name Of The King:  A Dungeon Siege Tale (Freestyle)

Jason Statham has been in a really good movie this year.  THIS ISN‘T IT!  Here, he stars as a man named Farmer, who, following the murder of his young son, teams with King Konreid to battle an evil army of Krugs.  Now, cue the laugh track!  King Konreid is played by Burt Reynolds!  Oh my god!!  Is my side hurting because I’m laughing so hard or did my appendix just rupture?  Wait!  I’m not being fair to Burt.  If it’s any consolation, the rest of the cast (Claire Forlani, Leelee Sobieski, Matthew Lillard) sucks eggs too.  In fact, as the villain Gallian, Ray Liotta (more laugh track, please) utters some of the most ridiculous dialogue I have ever heard.  Actually, this movie is a little sad.  It’s one of those films that makes you feel pity on the celebrities in it.  And, yes, I purposely used the word “celebrities” instead of the word “actors.” There IS a difference and sometimes it’s painfully apparent. 
GRADE:  F