Comments (Chad Benefield
July
2nd
Hancock (Sony Pictures)
It
drives me crazy when I watch action movies starring superheroes who bitch and
moan about having superpowers. Excuse me! If I had superpowers, I would use
them daily. I would fly to work. I would knock over armored trucks. I would
throw people I don’t like across the room. And I would use my X-ray vision for
purely prurient purposes (smell that alliteration!). That’s right! I’d be
seeing a whole lot of people naked without them knowing it. In director Peter
Berg’s (The Kingdom, Friday Night Lights) Hancock, Will Smith
stars as a superhero who’s an overblown alcoholic burdened by the fact that he
has superpowers and must save lives. In this case, the bitching and moaning
superhero is actually a guy EVERYONE hates. Los Angeles thinks it’s cool it has
a superhero, but this guy? I’m digging this premise and I am really digging the
super special effects in the trailer. They look amazing! Will Smith actually
rose to superstardom on a July 4th weekend way back in 1996 with the
release of Independence Day. We’ll see if Hancock can sober up
long enough to let freedom ring this year!
July
11th
Meet
Dave (Fox)
Chad,
meet the deadly rocks below the cliff you just jumped from. Chad, you’re
gushing blood, so meet this lagoon full of sharks. Eddie Murphy stars as Dave,
who, despite his rather human features, is actually a spaceship housing
miniature aliens who come to Earth seeking ways to save their planet. Meet
Dave is helmed by Brian Robbins, the man who directed Eddie Murphy right
out of an Academy Award in Norbit. You remember that story, right? Eddie
Murphy was expected to win an Oscar for his role in Dreamgirls. Then,
the tragic Norbit was released right around the time that the official
Academy Award ballots were circulating Hollywood. Despite the fact that Dreamgirls
reminded everyone just how good Eddie Murphy can be, Norbit was the
painful reality check that reminded everyone just how bad Eddie usually is. Meet
Dave! Another reminder.
July
18th
The Dark Knight (Warner Brothers)
This
was going to be huge anyway. That said, the untimely death of one its stars,
Heath Ledger, has made this a sure-fire blockbuster. But let’s be honest a
second about the Batman franchise. In 1989, Tim Burton’s Batman was
a hit because of Jack Nicholson. Nicholson, of course, brought The Joker to
big-screen life. Every Batman movie since has been lacking a villain
that vital. And, come on! It doesn’t matter who plays Batman, because
Batman is a bitching and moaning drag. Could there be a more morose
crime-fighter? In director Christopher Nolan’s second go-around with the
franchise (he directed the tepid Batman Begins), Heath Ledger assumes the
role of Batman’s most revered nemesis. As The Joker, Ledger looks AMAZING! There
is already posthumous Oscar talk in Hollywood for a man that should have won a
statue for his work in Brokeback Mountain. Heath Ledger was a gifted
actor who had it all together when the cameras were rolling. Too bad, his life
was so unscripted when the cameras were off.
July
25th
The X-Files: I Want To Believe (Fox)
What
an interesting exercise! It was 10 years ago that the first X-Files movie
was released to theatres. The television show was still going strong and the
movie actually helped propel the series’ guiding mythology. But it’s that
“black oil, government conspiracy” storyline that eventually did the show in. Series
creator Chris Carter and his staff of writers let the mythology get so
convoluted not even they could make sense of it. The stars of the show bowed
out, its fans quit watching and the series ended with a resounding thud! But
now, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are dusting off those X-Files! For
me, the series always worked best when it dealt with supernatural mysteries
that were discovered, explained and contained within the time limits of one
episode. Though he has refused to fully take the lid off the cookie jar, Chris
Carter has given us a crumb or two that indicate that’s the intent with the new
flick. Let me get a loan so I can afford some popcorn and a soft drink from the
concession stand (about $20 right?). I WANT TO BELIEVE!
Step Brothers (Sony)
An appropriate title given the fact that I actually have urges to hunt down Will Farrell and beat him like a red-headed stepchild. The 2008 movie season has worn me out. I have had to endure The Eye, Over Her Dead Body, Fool’s Gold, Jumper, You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, The Happening (what in the hell was that?), and Semi-Pro. That’s right, Will Farrell! I had to endure Semi-Pro. I have already been forced to watch one of your movies this year. And I cannot imagine watching you and your pal John C. Reilly star as two grown men who become childish, bickering step brothers when their single parents marry. Haven’t my people suffered enough? Can you not let my people go? Someone hand me a shovel. We’re going to dig an Underground Railroad and tunnel out of the theatre! Who’s with me?
July 1st
Drillbit Taylor (
The best part about the latest Owen Wilson debacle is that its title
actually gives you the suggestion of something you can shove into your eye
sockets so you won‘t have to endure it. Yes, a drill bit!
July 8th
Stop-Loss (
Look. War-in-Iraq movies are a tough sell and, though there seem to be a
lot of movies about the subject, there aren’t a lot of people going to see
them. Paul Haggis’ In The Valley Of Elah is the superior film in the lot
because it packed every single punch. In that movie (which was #2 on my Top Ten
list last year), Haggis said exactly what he wanted to, even if what he was
saying was polarizing and unpopular. I expected the same approach in this film
and here’s why. Stop-Loss is written and directed by Kimberly Peirce,
the woman who gave us the uncompromising Boys Don’t Cry, which earned
Hillary Swank her first of two Academy Awards. I thought Peirce was a good
choice to direct this movie about a young soldier (played by Ryan Phillippe in
a fine performance) who makes a run for the border to avoid being sent back to
July 8th
Superhero Movie (MGM)
Writer/director Craig Mazin likely thought he was snagging some real star
power when he landed spoof-movie legends Leslie Neilsen and Robert Hayes, both
of whom starred in Airplane! and helped make it the definitive parody
film. Sadly, the lame sophomoric jokes those actors are saddled with simply
serve as painful reminders of how funny they USED to be. Put on a pair of
tights, lace up a cape and fly head first into a brick wall. You’ll have more
fun! GRADE: D
July 15th
The Bank Job (Lionsgate)
Former Olympic diver Jason Statham has made a lot of movies (Crank,
Snatch, The Transporter, Ghosts Of Mars) and I haven’t like any of them. His
presence, paired with the presence of his female co-star Saffron Burrows (Troy,
Reign Over Me, Deep Blue Sea), had me worried about this throwback to the
heist movies of the 1970’s. But, to quote Gomer Pyle, this was a “Surprise! Surprise!
Surprise!” Full of schemers, shady characters, fast talkers and fence
straddlers, this film plays like a vintage heist thriller from yesteryear. GRADE:
B
July 15th
Step Up 2 The Streets (Buena Vista)
Remember a few years back when gay characters started popping up in
virtually every movie and television show? Then, a bit later, midgets started
to pop up in nearly every movie and television show? Well, now, dancers are
everywhere! Yes, dancers are the new gay . . . the new midget! Thanks to
television shows like Dancing with the Stars and So You Think You Can
Dance and movies like this, entertainment buffs are busting a move! And, I
cannot believe I am saying this, but I actually liked this movie. Yes, it’s
completely formulaic and full of stock characters, but the dancing is
UNBELIEVABLE! The Dixie Chicks told us (before they were burned at the stake),
“Some days you gotta dance!” GRADE: B-
July 22nd
21 (Sony Pictures)
Kevin Spacey, you have to know when to hold them. Know when to fold them.
Trust me, it’s time to fold them. The dealin’ is done. Ironically, a movie
about characters who card count to measure the hand they’ve been dealt,
features the work of two men who cannot see the writing on the wall. Spacey is
over. For Robert Luketic, who directed these classics (kidding!), Monster-In-Law,
Win A Date With Tad Hamilton!, and Legally Blonde, it never really
started in the first place. GRADE: C
