October 5th

The Heartbreak Kid (DreamWorks)
Bobby and Peter Farrelly (There’s Something About Mary, Stuck On You) direct this update of the 1972 Elaine May/Neil Simon original. Ben Stiller (otherwise known as “Strike One”) stars as Eddie Cantrow, who marries the woman of his dreams and whisks her away on a honeymoon. There, Eddie realizes the chick is actually whack and begins to fall for Miranda (Boston Public’s Michelle Monaghan). Here’s the bottom line: Ben Stiller is about as funny as an unfortunate skinny dipping encounter with piranha. That said, the Farrelly brothers CAN be hilarious. If they give us another Mary or Stuck, I will likely chortle. If they give us another Shallow Hal or Osmosis Jones, I am going to find the nearest industrial fan and end it all.

October 12th
Elizabeth: The Golden Age (Universal)
Shekhar Kapur directs this sequel to his 1998 film Elizabeth, which introduced the world to Cate Blanchett. Blanchett’s performance as Elizabeth Tudor earned her an Academy Award nomination and thrust her onto Hollywood’s list of go-to actresses. I have been waiting, praying, sacrificing for a sequel and it has arrived! It’s late 16th century and Elizabeth’s reign is threatened by Phillip II of Spain. Her kingdom is vulnerable and so is she now that she’s smitten with Sir Walter Raleigh (Closer’s Clive Owen). Now, I don’t claim to be a psychic, though I am experiencing a burning sensation. Oh wait, that has nothing to do with this review. This movie will likely work. Take a look at Cate Blanchett’s resume: Notes On A Scandal, LOTR, The Aviator, The Gift, The Talented Mr. Ripley. This is an actress who rarely misses and I will be amazed if she misses reprising the role that made her a star.

October 19th
30 Days Of Night (Sony Pictures)
Oh, yippee!! A new vampire movie! Someone stop me! I feel a round-off, back handspring and spirit fingers coming on! It’s Barrow, Alaska where the winter sun sets and doesn’t rise again for 30 days. From the darkness comes an evil, blood-sucking force. Doesn’t this sound a touch like Jeepers Creepers? This new Josh Hartnett vehicle has two things going for it and he’s not one of them. One is Ben Foster, a young actor who specializes in playing creeps. As outlaw Charlie Prince, he blew me away in 3:10 To Yuma, one of my favorites movies of this year. The second plus is director David Slade, who gave us 2005’s twisted independent thriller Hard Candy. That movie contains the single most disturbing scene of any film I have reviewed. Slade has a unique gift for making his audience squirm and laugh simultaneously. I just hope I don’t spend these 30 Days laughing for the wrong reason.

October 19th
Rendition (New Line)
Like that overly-friendly and drunk sorority girl, this is a sure thing! Reese Witherspoon (Academy Award winner for Walk The Line) stars as Isabella El-Ibrahimi, the American wife of an Egyptian chemical engineer who is secretly detained by the CIA on suspicion of being a terrorist. While he is being interrogated and tortured at a secret government compound, Isabella is tortured as well, trying desperately to find out how her husband mysteriously disappeared from his flight from South Africa to Washington D.C. The trailer for this movie is gripping and polarizing. The cast is sensational and well-decorated. With names like Witherspoon, Streep, Arkin, Sarsgaard, and Gyllenhaal in the credits, names like Benefield will be waiting in line.

October 19th
Things We Lost In The Fire (Paramount)
Normally, the mere mention of Halle Berry’s name makes me convulse and look for the nearest tongue-depressor. I know she’s won an Oscar, but she’s an embarrassment. Did you see Catwoman? Did you see Perfect Stranger, Die Another Day, Swordfish, B.A.P.S., Gothika, or The Rich Man’s Wife? In the words of Mary Poppins, she’s “something quite atrocious.” However, I will admit that her latest effort appears intriguing. Berry stars as Audrey Burke, a recent widow who invites her husband’s drug-addicted and troubled best friend (Academy Award winner Benicio Del Toro) to live with her and her two children. Their grieving processes become even more confused when the two discover a mutual attraction for one another. It appears that Danish director Susanne Bier has accomplished the unimaginable. Halle Berry looks sensational. Oh, God! Where’s the depressor? I think I just swallowed my tongue.

October 26th
Saw IV (Lionsgate)
Imagine the following line of dialogue coming from behind the Jigsaw mask in Tobin Bell’s evil, scary voice. “Hello, Amanda. Do you want to play a game?” Okay, now picture the next line of dialogue spoken in Chad Benefield’s sarcastic and derisive voice. “No, not really.” At the end of Saw III, it appeared that Jigsaw and Amanda were dead and I appeared glad. However, Amanda got Jigsawy with it and the two managed to set yet another trap for an unsuspecting SWAT team member, who has ninety minutes to play the sick and twisted game to save an old friend. I have never given a recommendation to a Saw film and I don’t see that changing this October. But I will give credit where credit is due. Director Darren Lynn Bousman always manages to make me uncomfortable. He knows how to build suspense and he knows how to make his audience squirm with fear and anticipation. But, more often than not, he takes the easy, gory way out. That isn’t technique. It’s laziness.