November 2nd

American Gangster (Universal)
Denzel Washington (Oscar winner for Training Day, Glory) stars as Harlem drug lord Frank Lucas and Russell Crowe (Oscar winner for Gladiator) stars as the cop hell-bent on bringing him to justice. Washington has been attached to this based-on-a-true story project for years, but there was a time it appeared that American Gangster would fail to make it to the big screen. Universal Studios fired the film's initial director, Antoine Fuqua (Training Day, Tears of the Sun) because of budget issues. But then Ridley Scott stepped in to save the day and the film. Let's hope it was worth saving. Sure, it stars Washington and Crowe are typically reliable, but here's the 411 (Oh my God! I'm Mary J. Blige!) on Scott. His films can be superb (Thelma and Louise, Alien) or just downright awful (Hannibal, A Good Year). If American Gangster delivers the goods, I may forgive Ridley for directing G.I. Jane and 1492: The Conquest of Paradise. I've been holding a grudge and my therapist tells me it's crippling.

November 9th
Fred Claus (Warner Brothers)

Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa looked a whole lot like Paul Giamatti, who stars as Jolly Old Saint Nick in this comedy directed by David Dobkin (Wedding Crashers). Vince Vaughn is Santa's brother Fred, who moves back home to the North Pole from Chicago after he and his girlfriend split up. Fred's the black sheep of the family and has always lived in the literal and figurative shadow of his brother Santa. Suffice it to say he has a very difficult time obeying Santa and all the rules of the reindeer games and that leads to big disagreements between him and the fat guy. This premise reminds me of the Robin Williams joke about Jesus' brother, Jerry. Yes, Jerry Christ. If this movie is half as funny as that joke, a caroling I will go! If it's not funny, I'm going to bitch-slap the first elf I see.

November 9th

Lions For Lambs (United Artists)
Like Mary Kay Laterno with her new homeroom class, I am all over this!! Robert Redford directs this big-screen symposium on the War in Iraq that features three separate story arcs. In one, Redford is a college professor mentoring a disaffected student. In the second, Tom Cruise plays a Republican senator who discusses his views about the war with a television journalist played by Meryl Streep. In the third storyline (which actually frames the other two), Derek Luke and Michael Pena star as soldiers on their first tour of duty in Afghanistan. I have seen the trailers. I have perused the official website. And I am more excited than a Pointer Sister! I just can't hide it. Ooh-Wee! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it. Oh yeah! The only thing that worries me is that the screenplay is written by Matthew Michael Carnahan. His first screenplay was The Kingdom, a crass, snide, and ridiculous movie that was as insulting to us as it was the Middle East.

November 9th

No Country for Old Men (Miramax)
The trailer for Joel and Ethan Coen's latest project wins my award for the most eerie trailer of the year! Tommy Lee Jones, who gave the performance of his career earlier this year in In The Valley of Elah, stars as a small town Texas sheriff in pursuit of crazed killer named Chigurh (Javier Bardem), who is in relentless and murderous pursuit of two million dollars in drug money. Look, the Coens are known for quirky comedies like O Brother, Where Art Thou?, The Big Lebowski, and Raising Arizona. That said, their best movie is Fargo, a quirky comedy that was laced with grizzly, sinister violence. You'll be hard-pressed to find a more grizzly and sinister image than that of Javier Bardem mowing down victims with a cattle prod. This looks terrific.

November 16th

Beowulf (Paramount)
I have a degree in English from The University of Louisville. Because I have an English degree, I have read Beowulf about 2,000 times. I actually like the book and I know the story inside and out. However, Robert Zemeckis' Beowulf isn't necessarily the story we're all familiar with. First of all, Zemeckis, Oscar winner for Forrest Gump (Life is like a box of vomit!), gives the story a motion-capture makeover a la The Polar Express! More disturbing is the fact that he readily admits that his team of writers, Roger Avary (Silent Hill)and Neil Gaiman (Stardust), changed some key elements of the story. Okay. Scholars believe Beowulf was written in about 700-750 A.D. The story has endured the test of time and entertained generations for centuries. Isn't it just like Hollywood-types like Roger Avary and Neil Gaiman to think they can do better? Well, Roger, I have seen Silent Hill and it made me want to take the cap off my ink pen and stab my eyes out. Neil, I have seen Stardust and I still cannot tell you what on Earth that movie was about! I really hope Grendel eats you both!

November 21st

Enchanted (Buena Vista)
Walt Disney made a fortune churning out animated princesses. Now, Disney's studios are looking to actress Amy Adams (Junebug) to morph from an animated princess into a live action one. Enchanted tells the story of Giselle, a cartoon princess who finds herself exiled to the human world by the evil Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon). In Manhattan, Giselle tries to adapt to human life while dealing with her new human emotions. Yep, you guessed it! She falls for single-dad attorney Robert, played by Patrick Dempsey (Is he McDreamy or McSteamy?), even though her Prince Edward (James Marsden) has shown up in Manhattan to rescue her valiantly! Experienced Disney vet Kevin Lima (102 Dalmatians, Tarzan) directs. That's fine. But eight different writers received screenplay credits. That is as bad a sign as a white van circling an elementary school!